We could change everything....

[Tim Twiss]

All we need to do is create a cheap line of imported Minstrel Banjos. Spare nothing in creating this quality product....use the finest plastic for the tuners and tailpiece. Select a fine grade of plastic for the head, paint the fingerboard (but not too good), use the cheapest thing you can find for hardware, and secure to the laminated rim with no more than one screw. Don't set the instrument up prior to shipping, and be certain you select the greenest wood you can to make certain it will warp correctly within 7 months. (Total landed cost on US soil-$9.95). Then we must select from our own ranks a representative (complete with period sunglasses and a hat), get our spot on HSN and shamelessly promote this product (period dialect optional). Oh yea, don't forget the hot sidekick chick to mindlessly repeat a few phrases about the banjo and tell us how much better they are than those costing thousands of dollars more. Constantly refer to the "handmade quality" to "your specifications" every third sentance. Spice up the package with a set of bones, a songster with jokes in it, and a special signature thimble. Don't forget to hire your band (get tambo, fiddle, and bones players) and instruct them to look totally bored in between the few exciting moments of flashy, shallow Minstrel Banjo riffs. We will ensure your success by fabricating phone calls simulating total morons that had a life changing experience with the instrument, and are acutally ordering a second one.
Hurry fast....quantities are limited.
Oh yes...play the opening line to "Briggs' Jig" as fast as you can several times throughout the program. America will without a doubt, buy it.

[Tim Twiss]

Who will be our Esteban?

[Trapdoor2]

Tim Twiss said:

Who will be our Esteban?

That would be Carl. With his raffish good looks, slightly foreign-sounding (Kansas) accent and, adding some black leather, he could sell tackheads to the most ardent bluegrasser... ;-)

[Carl Anderton]

I had to google Esteban.